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High On You

Derek Danforth x GN!AFAB!Reader

Summary: You read over the statistics and analytics for Derek’s company, as he requested. Except, while you do this, you’re on his bed, lower half of your body exposed as he does lines of cocaine on your thigh—then he eats you out.

WC: 1.2k

Content: 18+ smut, MDNI, derek danforth x reader (gn!afab!reader), oral (v!receiving), no spoilers for The Beekeeper, brief (yet detailed) cocaine/drug use, graphic depictions of sex and drugs (this is probably the filthiest thing i ever wrote on here), cursing

(A/n: I couldn’t wait to write it, so here !! Haven’t watched the movie yet, but if I notice that there’s anything incorrect here once I do, I’ll go back and change it ! I’m so sorry to my AMAB readers and/or the AFAB readers who get dysphoria from this type of writing !! You can check out my other smuts that aren’t genital-specific !! Love you all!! And thanks to everyone for your support !! Anyways, I think that Derek doing coke on the reader is such a Derek thing to do.)

Tags: @thehermitsaltar @coriolanussnowswife @moonlight-rosevine @harrysflorist @thegirlwholoveslivesfanfiction @joshhutchersons-slut

-

Your rich boyfriend, Derek Danforth, asked you to read over the statistics and analytics of his phishing center, informing him how much money he’s earned in the past week.

Except it wasn’t a very professional or orderly way.

You laid on his bed, looking at the information on your phone, reading how much millions were gained on Thursday, while your entire lower body was naked. You two were always a very intimate couple, so this wasn’t new or had invoked any feelings of diffidence, as your legs were spread out across the mattress.

He snorted a line of cocaine, pressing down on one of his nostrils to inhale the drug after spilling the white powder onto your thigh and scraping it into several thin lines using one of his credit cards. It felt tingly, to have him do this on your thigh, his head ever so close to your cunt. While this occurred, his free hand was resting on your other bare thigh.

He let out an ecstatic groan afterward, and then looked at you as his high rushed in. “What—What’d you say again, baby?”

You chuckle softly at his mannerisms. “I said that in total, for Thursday at least, UDG obtained, like, over six fucking million,” you reply, looking over the statistics on your phone again. “Business is booming.”

Derek smirked as he was satisfied to hear the news. “Damn fuckin’ right it is.”

His body slightly tensed up as he quickly inhaled another white line on your thigh through his nostril, briefly rubbing his nose afterwards. The sharp inhale caused him to feel a surge of euphoria throughout his body as the drugs entered his system. His eyes closed in pleasure, then opened, pupils slightly dilated.

You watched him do this, taking a short drag of your cigarette. “Last week’s average was five point two million dollars,” you add, observing him as he corrected the final line with the card, straightening it out onto your thigh.

“So what was the total earned in that week?” He inquired as your cigarette remained hanging from your mouth.

“Thirty-six million dollars, baby,” you answer proudly while he inhales the last line quite harshly, and heard him whoop as he gained exhilaration from both the drug and the statistics.

You finally place your phone down on the night stand to give full attention to your boyfriend. You bring your hand to his hair, tangling his soft, light curls in your fingers. “Congratulations,” you praise gently, watching Derek close his eyes in pleasure, leaving a small kiss on your thigh.

He placed the package of coke on the night stand and adjusted himself on the bed between your legs. He continued to leave soft kisses on your thigh, gradually trailing towards your untouched pussy.

“Mm, I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I?” He observed, demonstrating a hint of pity. “Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking wet,” he huffs, pulling your hips closer to his face as he finally licked up your cunt in an animalistic fashion.

You let out a soft sigh, your fingers still in his hair, and you grab the cigarette out of your mouth, immediately putting it out on the ashtray.

Derek’s warm tongue caressed along your folds exuberantly, moving up and down as your breath hitched. He gripped your thighs tightly, pushing his face even further in your cunt. You let out a gasp—almost a moan—as he flicked your clit with his tongue, stimulating the sensitive nub which elicited even more intense sounds from your mouth.

“O-oh, fuck, Derek!” You moaned as you felt him suck at your clit, closing his lips around it while lightly moving his hands up and down from your thighs to your sensitive hips, thumb pushing down on your pelvic bone for a brief moment, causing more pleasure within you. “S-so good, love… Fuck, yes.”

He lapped at your dripping pussy once more, threatening to poke inside each time his tongue ran over your entrance. He incessantly licked at you, so desperately and lustfully, occasionally tugging at your flesh between his soft lips.

“Taste s’fucking good,” he mutters between his rapid licks, “S’fucking good for me Y/n…” He rubbed off some leftover powder on your thigh, messily inhaling it through his nose for enhanced stimulus.

Your thighs jolting as you let out a high-pitched whine once you felt his tongue finally push inside your wet, aching cunt. He was eating you out as if you were forbidden fruit, because he would rather die than never be able to taste you. Pleasing to the eye, he really couldn’t help it. He was practically making out with your pussy, exploring your walls with his generous tongue.

Your legs closed around his head and you brought both of your hands to his hair, tugging his curls, which gets a muffled groan out of him, the vibration causing you to feel even more pleasure. Your breath hitched and you choked out a moan as you felt his nose bumping against your clit as he ate you out. Derek felt so hazy and foggy from his high, and because everything was so sensitive for him, he could practically cum untouched from how much arousal he gained from pleasing you. Not only was he high on cocaine, but he was also high on your taste, and hearing you moan was his ultimate addiction.

“Sh-shit, Derek…” Your head turned to the side tiredly, eyes threatening to close as you felt overwhelmed with all the stimulation. Derek hooked one of his arms around your thigh so he could place his hand warmly on your stomach, below your belly button yet over your cunt, now focusing more on his precision.

You felt yourself closer to your orgasm, waves of pleasure crashing onto you each second. Derek slipped his tongue out, just to spread your pussy lips apart with his fingers, and then lap his tongue against your cunt again sloppily, making your thighs twitch, incoherent whimpers escaping your mouth. “Holy shit, you’re so fucking hot…” he mumbles.

You let out a high-pitched moan as his long, slender middle finger inserted into you effortlessly, quick, deep thrusts provoking wet, vulgar squelches while he simultaneously sucked your clit again. He pulled out his finger smoothly, abrasively running it between your soaked folds, then pushed it back in deeply.

“G-God! Fuck!” You whined, back arching as you succumbed to his touch. Abruptly, he spit on your cunt, lapped his tongue on you, switching constantly between your folds and your clit. You felt a knot in your stomach, in which Derek’s free hand had still remained resting on it. His licks were fast and rough, and you felt yourself being driven over the edge. “G—Fuck, Derek, b-baby, I-I’m—”

“That’s it, that’s it, baby,” he encouraged softly in between licks. He looked at you hungrily with his deep brown eyes, “Cum for me.”

The second you heard his command, you came hard around his finger, moaning his name loudly as he slipped it out to desperately taste your juices, him groaning in your cunt. You whimpered and shuddered uncontrollably, his insistent touch bringing you to overstimulation. He kissed it a few times, then brought himself up from the mattress to make you with you, lips moving with yours as it allowed you to taste yourself.

“Fucking love you,” he muttered in the kiss. “So good for me, Y/n, fuck.” He held you in his arms softly, being as gentle as he could, rubbing your arms up and down comfortingly. The room smelled like sex, as the atmosphere consisted of only your deep breaths and the soft, wet smacking of your kisses.

“Fuck,” you panted, and the corner of your lips curled into a relieved smile until you kissed him again. “I love you too.”

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MOVIE: The Beekeeper 2024!

Watch Free!

Watch Full Movie from Here >> https://stfly.xyz/6wkBX

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THE MOVIE: The Beekeeper (2023)

Hey Tumblr fam! 🌟 Guess what? Just caught a screening of "The Beekeeper" and I'm buzzing with excitement! 🐝✨

>>Click below link to Watch The Full Movie Now<<

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It’s that time of year when cupid strikes and love of all kind is expressed in abundance. Whether you’re single and ready to mingle, taken, or just want to have a little fun with your friends, Lume Noua’s Valentine’s Day mini-event has something for everyone. Three realms are hosting events this year, so hop in a portal and enjoy a little bit of love in each realm. Portals will be open for 24 hours. ( ooc: This is a mini-event for Valentines Day! You can post starters for this mini event up until 2/28/23. Use the tag LMevent6. There will be no surprise plot drops during this event. This is just a fun holiday themed event for characters)

Haven - Be My Honey Bee Festival

Honey and bees have long been associated with deities of love and Saint Valentine was also the Patron Saint of Beekeepers. Join us in celebration of both.

Take a Tour of the Hives, but don’t worry you’ll be provided the proper protective gear and trained guides will be there to help.

Pair up, whether it be with your love or your platonic soulmate, and test your honey making skills with a sweet honey filled dessert.

Find your Honey Bee! If you’re looking for love, wear a Bee broach. If there’s someone you’re interested in, send them a Honey-Gram ( a rose attached to a note.) If they accept your gesture, they will send you a beeswax candle with a honey aroma. Feel free to explore your newfound connection.

Eastland - Love Bites Anti-Valentine’s Day Celebration

Just as much as some people love love, there are some that don’t want to celebrate the holiday for the commercialized money-grab it tends to be. Join us for the Anti-V-Day Celebration.

Break a Heart and release some rage! Take a swing at piñatas and other furniture in the Love Bites Rage Room. Proper protective gear will be provided.

Send a Message (and not a good one)! Have a Black Widow Cocktail while making Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards and Cookies.

All My Single People (and taken if you want to party with us) - Dance to a playlist full of songs about being single and loving it and commemorate the night with a picture at the photo booth.

Kings Hill - Pink Party Valentine’s Day Celebration

Join us for a pink party where the decor, the decorations, the cocktails and the dress code is pink!

On Vday We Wear Pinkenjoy yourself in celebrating Valentine’s Day at a Pink Party, where payment for entrance is that you wear pink to this party.

Movie Marathons! Watch popular Rom-Coms and Dramas screening the entire day.

Love Stories for all ages! Watch as minstrels perform iconic pieces telling of swoon worthy love stories. Or take to the stage with a partner and act out an iconic scene from your favorite love story.

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4 years of French and he can't speak a word - jdjd me with Spanish.

Do you have any more Spencer headcanons pls 👉🏻👈🏻

OFC IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE NOTHING PERSONAL I JUST FINALLY GOT A FREE PERIOD RN

OKAY SO SPENCER SPECIFIC HCS:

Like I mentioned before he has a hyperfixation on bugs and biology

He talks a lot about nature and food chains and he can identify bugs with their full scientific name by just looking at them

This also makes him the designated spider wrangler in the office

Which he loves to do ^^

Garcia is terrified of spiders and is slowly slowly slowly warming up to them bc of Spence

He picks them up and shows them to everyone and absolutely nobody else wants to hold them

He got a microscope for Christmas after talking about the one he had as a kid that he lost when moving

It’s really high quality and he even makes some of the slides himself when he has the time

If he hadn’t gone into behavior analysis, he would’ve done forensics

I also think he perhaps should use neopronouns

Because he has the ‘tism

I also think he’s interested in horror movies, not for the horror aspect but because the science behind it and how good movies will build the tension and mess with your mind

He also likes to point out behind the scenes things like what the fake blood is made up of

also i think he’s neither a dog or a cat person but

And wait for it

A tarantula person

Or just any exotic pet

He does have a cat tho they get along rlly well

He also reminds me of a theater kid,,, he feels like a theater kid,,, and a techie,,, look at him,,,

He took so many goddamn extracurriculars in high school his college applications looked like a damn choose your own adventure novel

ALSO HE HAS A FASCINATION WITH BEES DONT LET ME FORGET THAT

HE IS A BEEKEEPER

HE IS AN AVID BEEKEEPER AND GIDEON TAUGHT HIM HOW AND WHEN HE DISAPPEARED (I FORGOR WHERE TF GIDEON WENT) HE GAVE HIM HIS BEE COLONY TO LOOK AFTER!

Onto trans spencer hcs

Uses he/him and some neos idk which ones tho

Started testosterone when he was in 8th grade which was the earliest they could let him on

Bc i think i mentioned before for his hcs that he made it clear he was trans really early on bc of being young and autism

Chronic boyliker syndrome

Also he paints his nails often, usually just warm colors that match his normal wardrobe but he’s done matching nails with Garcia for fun during like holidays or something

Halloween is his favorite holiday btw <3

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Farmers’ Market

Author:@ihearthes Pairing: Harry x y/n Rating: Fluff Word Count: 2.8k

Summer Feeling Challenge sponsored by @helladirections

Vibrant yellows, pinks, greens, and red catch my eye as I take in the variety of fruits and veg in front of me. Wow. How is it possible to have this much beautiful fresh produce in one spot? Placing the essential ingredients for my favorite salad in a basket, I approach the counter. Having ridden a bicycle to the market, I’m fairly confident it will all fit in my knapsack for the return to my flat.

Hearing his voice causes my entire body to freeze. Well, not completely because my heart is like a wild animal trying to break free from captivity. Regular beats, steady, but louder than my friend Steph had been at his concert in Philly.

“Hi, I’m looking for some kale, and you don’t seem to have any,” His voice is as deep as the grooves in one of the gravel roads back home in Springfield, and the shiver that travels up my spine is a violent and silent storm.

Shit. Had I taken the last of the kale? Maybe I can surreptitiously put it back so he doesn’t notice? Wait just a doggone minute! Why the fuck should I give up my kale? Just because he’s my favorite musician in the whole world and he’s somehow standing at the very same green-grocer’s as I am? That makes zero sense.

A statue, I debate my options.

Buy my produce and leave before he notices me. But then he might realize that I’ve taken the last of the kale.

Put the kale back and choose spinach instead? My strawberry salad will taste lovely with spinach. But it truly is best with kale.

Wait until he leaves and hope he doesn’t spy the kale in my basket? Suddenly, I’ve got the urge to pee. What if he’s here for a long time?

Put on my sexy voice and offer to share my kale salad with him? This option causes me to smirk while my tummy resembles a popcorn popper with kernels scattering in every direction. Stepping to the counter, I quickly throw my items at the woman while he’s engaged in conversation with a different clerk.

“That’ll be £14.35,” the woman says, and I withdraw a £20 note, quickly passing it to her, holding my breath that I can escape before he approaches. Not daring to look backwards, I squeeze my change in my fist as I rush to fit in with the crowd strolling the Parliament Hill Farmers’ Market. It’s not until I’m at the end of the stalls and near my chained bicycle that I slow down, breathe, and risk a glance behind me.

“What did you think? He was going to chase you down and tackle you for the kale?” Steph screams at me through the phone. Naturally she had been my first call as soon as I arrived back at the flat my company had rented for the duration of this London business trip.

“I didn’t know, Steph! It’s like sixty degrees out there, and I’m sweating like I’ve just run a marathon in ninety-degree heat.” Removing the items from my knapsack, I wash them, laying them out to dry on a towel. Using my fingers, I pull my shirt away from my chest and shake it to allow air to flow better.

“You’re the only person I know who can meet Harry fucking Styles on her first trip to the farmers’ market! And you’re deffo the only one who would turn and run away! How did he look? What was he wearing?” Her words are BB pellets like my brothers used to shoot at cans back home.

My words are quiet and stutter as they emerge like a new butterfly from a cocoon. “I didn’t look.”

“WAIT JUST ONE GODDAMNED MINUTE! What do you mean? How could you not look?” Her volume has increased to the level that I might need to remove my Airpods so as to not damage my ears. Then her voice lowers. “What if it wasn’t him?”

Shit. I hadn’t considered that. “No. It was definitely him. Come on. How many times have I listened to his voice?”

“Maybe it was just the British accent.”

“Steph, I’m in London. Everyone has a British accent. I’m telling you. It was him.”

My best friend sighs. “Okay. I believe you. The fact that he was right there, though, and you didn’t say or do anything…”

“I got the hell out of there. What do you mean I didn’t do anything?”

“Maybe you’ll see him next week. Will you talk to him?”

A soft smile crosses my lips. “Nope. Come on, Steph. You and I have always had a pact that we wouldn’t bother him if we saw him in the wild, and I’m sticking with that.”

----------

“My boss and his wife are coming by tonight, so I want to put together a fruit and cheese plate.” I tell the vendor at Bath Soft Cheese. “Can you give me some suggestions?”

“Oh. I can!” A voice next to me says, and I’m a rigid piece of lumber. What are the fucking odds? Shit.

“Thanks, Harry,” the gentleman at the table says. “I’m going to help this couple.” With that, I’m left alone.

Carefully, I swivel my neck to make sure I’ve not lost my mind -- or the plot as my colleagues might say. But no. It’s him. Definitely him.

I drink him in. Wearing a hoodie with his own name over the heart and a pair of shorts that are more for walking than jogging, Harry (fucking Styles!) points towards one of the cheeses sitting on the bed of ice.

“This one is a vegetarian cheese, and it’s my sister’s favorite. Best paired with thin apple slices because they make the cheese with apple cider. So delicious.” He glances at me, and I feel faint from the deep green of his eyes. Fuck. Up close and in person, they’re brilliant. They shine (Shine! Step into the light! Shine! So bright sometimes!), and I have to blink so that I can nod.

“Awesome. Thanks,” I move to take the cheese.

“Oh, but this one,” he points to the next one over, “is their Bath Soft, and it’s best served with grapes.” Harry Styles, explaining cheeses like he’s an expert cheesemonger, makes me smile. “Personally, I wouldn’t serve a blue cheese to guests unless you know they like it. So many people take offense to blue cheese.”

“Right? I love blue cheese. Especially in a salad. It’s got that bite to it,” I blurt out, and then clamp my mouth shut as I realize I’ve started to relax in his presence. Which is downright stupid as I might inadvertantly disclose something incriminating. Like how many of his concerts I’ve witnessed live.

“Yes! I’ve got this great kale salad recipe with blue cheese and walnuts!” His excitement is the same as that of a puppy spotting a treat; tail practically wagging the whole backside.

From deep in my belly I feel the giggle build up, and I fasten both hands solidly over my mouth in a pathetic (and useless) attempt to contain it.

His joy is contagious, though, and I can’t help myself. “Does it have a balsamic vinegarette? Because I have one that’s so good I can eat it every night for a week. Oh. Never mind. That’s the recipe I have with candied pecans. Not walnuts.”

Holy shit. I’m actually standing in a farmers’ market in London discussing recipes with Harry Styles. Perhaps I’m going to pass out? Or maybe I’m hallucinating? Or dreaming?

“Candied pecans? Sounds yummy. There’s my friend. Gotta go! You can’t go wrong with those two cheeses I mentioned! And maybe treat yourself to some blue cheese too. Just for you.” He winks with his right eye and flashes the dimple my way before he disappears.

----------

My third week in London, and I climb onto my bicycle a full two hours before the usual time I had traveled to the farmers’ market the last two weeks. My license plate should read “Determined to Dodge” because it’s freaking me out a bit that I’ve seen Harry twice in the same place. And they say lightning doesn’t strike twice. Ha! I’m making sure it doesn’t strike thrice.

“I’ll take the plain goat’s cheese,” I instruct the vendor, and after money is exchanged, she hands it to me and I move to place it directly into my backpack. After nearly a month, I’ve got the hang of this farmers’ market shopping, it seems, and I’m pleased to have arrived with a set shopping list for the first time.

“Yum.” Harry’s voice comes over my shoulder, and I’m startled enough to nearly drop the damn cheese. HOW IS HE HERE? “What’s your plan for that?”

“Um,” I bite my lip. “Goat cheese, honey, and fruit crostini.” Feeling emboldened, my lips continue speaking as though this superstar and I are friends, “I’ve been debating the two beekeepers, but I don’t know which has the better honey.”

Today he’s wearing a pair of blue jeans that fit wide on his hips along with a peach button-down shirt and a newsboy cap. “Oh, then I think we should definitely go have a taste at each. My lady?” He holds out his crooked arm, ready for me to take it like we’re in a 1940’s movie.

What’s even crazier is that I follow his lead and add, “Lead the way, sir.” It’s ridiculously silly. And so much fun. His playful side makes me feel charmed, less like a fan and more like an acquaintance. At the first beekeeper, we each taste the regular blossom honey.

“Oh, that’s fantastic,” I whisper as I slide the wooden stick across my tongue.

“Hey, you can’t give in yet. We’ve not tried the other one. We’ll be back,” he says over his shoulder to the vendor as he escorts me away. “Maybe,” he adds once we’re out of hearing, drawing a giggle from me.

Holy shit. I’m relaxed around Harry Styles. What is happening to me? Boundaries! I need boundaries.

“Oh, my!” I breathe as we arrive at the Local Honey Man’s booth. “There’s too many options.”

Knowingly, Harry nods. “Indeed there are. So maybe we need to back up. You’re doing plain goat cheese on what kind of crostini?”

“You mean what bread am I using? Oh, I was thinking either a thinly sliced sourdough or a baguette.”

“Mmmm...excellent choice. I can recommend some bread next. What fruit are you planning to use?”

His question makes me laugh involuntarily. The great performer and entertainer Harry Styles is asking me what fruit I want on my crostini? Why?

“Well, I’m thinking it’s that time of year for peaches or nectarines. Either of which would be amazing.” Placing a finger to my chin, I survey him. Fuck. He looks so wonderful. Fresh. Friendly. Not at all like a celebrity. Just a normal Joe -- or Harry -- that one might meet at a farmers’ market on a Saturday morning. As I observe him, I feel myself starting to shed some of the barriers between us. He’s just like me, I think. A food connoisseur. Someone who enjoys the local atmosphere.

“Oh yes,” he pauses, smacking his lips. “I can taste that now. Okay, so with that combination, I would recommend either the lemon zest infused honey or the British Borage Honey. Personally, I think the cinnamon honey might overpower the flavor of the goat cheese.”

“You know what? I think you’re right. My goal is for all of the local flavors to come through, so perhaps going with a non-flavored honey is the best decision. Thanks, Harry.” And then I freeze again because I know I’ve let my tongue get away with a horrible slip by saying his name. Wanting to cry, I bite my lip and turn to the vendor. With tears in my throat, I ask, “I’ll take a jar of the British Borage please.”

The merchant wraps it quickly, handing it over in exchange for my money, and I nervously twist towards Harry, expecting his glare over my rudeness. It’s almost like he’s oblivious. As I place the jar of honey in my bag, he grabs my hand.

“Let’s check out breads!”

Running behind him, I’m puzzled by what had just occurred. Shouldn’t he be upset? Freaking out? Wondering if I’m a stalker?

“Here’s my recommendation,” he says as we stop at a stall with a sign reading ‘The Flour Station’. They’ve got a wonderfully tangy sourdough baguette. If you slice it thin, then layer on the goat cheese, honey, and finally the peaches, it will be a perfect meal.”

When I request the baguette, the owner nods and wraps it for me. As he hands it over, I turn to Harry and extend my hand. “Thank you for your help, kind sir. I’m confident this will be the most amazing meal.”

Staring at my hand suspiciously, he ignores it. “Nearly lunchtime,” he announces. “Any chance you’ll join me for some Indian food?” With his head, Harry gestures towards the Mumbai Mix stand.

As I consider the implications, my head starts to move from side to side. Never meet your idols. That’s what the voice in my head whispers.

“Please?” His eyes take on a look that is as close to begging as I’ve ever seen in any human. “Look. I’ll be honest. These days I don’t meet many fans who would go out of their way to avoid me like you do. Most want to move into my house immediately. It would be nice to extend our time a bit. After all, it’s just a meal in the middle of a crowded London farmers’ market. How scary can it be?”

Blinking, I carefully think about my response, but instead the words that escape are “You knew I was a fan? For how long? And how did you know I was avoiding you?”

“Fair questions. Place your order, and we can talk about the answers over lunch.”

Now my curiosity has been peaked. At the vendor, Harry requests the Dosa Wrap while I order the samosas, and we step to the side while they’re being prepared.

“That first time.”

“Last week you mean?”

“No, the first time. You remember. At the green-grocer’s.”

My face likely flames red. “You saw me? You noticed me? I didn’t even so much as look at you.”

His hearty laugh makes me tingle. “Noticed you? Of course. You’re gorgeous and golden and stunning. And your American accent grabbed my attention. Why did you run?”

The giggle starts at my toes and bursts forth like a bird flying from a cage. “Um...because I’d taken the last of the kale.”

Resting his hands on his knees, Harry chuckles loudly, drawing the attention of other patrons. As the restauranteur hands over our plates, Harry carries both to a nearby table.

“And last time? You jumped a mile when I suggested helping you with the cheeses.”

Burying my face in my hands, I groan. “Harrrrrrrryyyyy. Before I came to London for work, I made a promise to my best friend that if I saw you in the wild, I’d leave you alone. So it was quite awkward that you were the one who approached me. And holy hell! How did you know I would be here today at this time? I came early so I could shop before you arrived!”

He picks up his wrap and takes a bite, chewing carefully. Taking guidance from him, I gingerly grasp a samosa and tear into the dough, immediately savoring the potatoes and spices inside.

“Mmmmm,” I murmur, and my tongue flicks out to rescue a bit of flavor still on my lips.

“‘In the wild’?” he inquires, and I’m confident the blush now covers my entire body.

“You know. Like if I saw you at a show or a public event, it would be different. Then I could fangirl and ask for an autograph or a photo or whatever. But at the market, you’re not working. You’re just like everyone else -- shopping.”

Knowingly, he nods. “I appreciate that. Truly. Not everyone respects my private time. So thank you. But the truth is…” There’s a pause, and I nervously nibble at the samosa in my hand, worried about what he will say next. “...once I noticed you, I couldn’t ignore you.” Clearing his throat, he smiles in a friendly manner. “How did your boss enjoy the cheese and fruit plate?”

“Wonderfully,” I respond, “But not as much as I enjoyed my kale salad with blue cheese, blueberries, strawberries, and candied pecans.” A smile tilts my lips upwards, possibly exposing my own dimple.

“I’m sure,” he murmurs, “I’d love to taste it sometime. Care to make it for me?”

“Hmmm,” I playfully consider his request. “Are you confident you’d prefer that to goat cheese, honey, and fruit crostini on sourdough baguette? It’s all local.”

A/N: Thanks for reading. Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this.

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Ooof... HI blog mutuals! How are you?

Back around January 5th, I had a cloud of commitments drift over my calendar at work, and I thought: :This will be a busy week.:Two months later... well, it’s a break period soon, and I will probably sleepthrough half of it.

I have been getting a few drabs of writing done, but it’s pretty fragmentary. I made progress on the mc:tna WIP! *jazz hands*

I also spent a lot of time the past month or so on the couch watching TV, because I didn’t have bandwidth for anything else. I want to do a quick impressions post, in case anyone is curious about these programs, too!

Below, thoughts on:

Alice in Borderland (Japan; Netflix)

His Dark Materials (British; HBO Max)

Raya and the Last Dragon (US; Disney+)

Vincenzo (Korea; Netflix)

WandaVision (US; Disney+)

Alice in Borderland(Netflix - 8 episodes, ends on a -minor- cliffhanger)

This one really grabbed me by the throat, but in a way that is entirelyabout style and setting. Characters in this drama don’t have a long shelf life, and like Battle Royale, it is extremelybloody. Also like Battle Royale, how much enjoyment you get out of it depends on your tolerance for watching people group up and then be shocked when the strangers they’ve decided to trust (inevitably) gruesomely betray them. If you enjoyed the style of Cube, Hunger Games, The Game, or Matrix Reloaded, and can stand (or like me, fast forward through) the gore, you might enjoy this.

Random impressions:

I know whyArisu is the main character, but brass tacks: if he didn’t have plot armor, he wouldn’t be. Usagi, Kuina, Karube, or Chishiya the entire way.

Almost the second I turned it off, a full-formed plot bunny of how Chishiya and Kuina met jumped in to my head, so maybe that will get written someday. Because they’re the best (regrettable murder-duo tendencies aside).

Either the borderland is a simulation, or they’re all stuck in someone’s psychotic break-- there’s too much that doesn’t add up for it to be anything else (although the“aliens!” theory is fun).

His Dark Materials (HBOMax - 2 seasons (15 eps), 3rd season in production)

I reallywanted to like this more than I did... If you’ve read the books, and enjoyed them, it is abeautifullyfilmedversion of that, but the show sells the grand drama of a War for Free Will much too short. Like, my favorite things in two seasons were Lee Scoresby (Lin Manuel Miranda, surprising the hellout of me), the City of Citagazze (what?), Mrs. Coulter (...what?!), and Lord Boreal.

Lyra, Pan, Will, the Golden Compass itself, the angels, the Spectres, the Magisterium -- ehhhh. They were fine. But not more than that. And some of the things I outright loved in the books were terrible here. Whoever cast Lord Asriel, the witches and Jopari/John Perry did...not do their best work, imo. I’ll probably watch season 3, but it won’t be a“must watch” for me.

Raya and the Last Dragon (Disney+ - animated film, ~2 hours)

I shelled out US $30 to see this opening weekend, and I’m not sorry about that choice. Reviewers are saying the story is a bit“generic” and...I guess? I think it depends on what you were expecting. But for me, this movie hit all my buttons - actual characterization for its female leads; humor;enemiesto lovers friends; big epic conclusion to its story; found family; basically an RPG sourcebook lite approach to introducing the world; magic with consistent rules and NOT overpowered; BIG ol’ plothole at the end if someone wanted to write for it...

There has been another criticism leveled, in that Rayatries to take a“pan SE Asia” approach with its setting that really, reallybothers some viewers. I tried to keep an eye out for it when I watched, and quickly realized I don’t know enough about artistic influences from that area of the world to be able to tell. So it didn’t bother me, but in that I might be part of the problem. I will say that the setting seemed to be a little too“flavor-y” in its regions if it was supposed to be one country originally. But I mean, this was also a film with a giant rolling armadillo-- wasn’t thinking about it very hard.

Vincenzo (Netflix - airing now, new eps Sat & Sun in the US)

Ahaha, where to START? I started watching this on a whim eating dinner one night, and it’s maybe my new favorite show. Netflix labels this a“dark comedy,” and yeah, I guess? I also sent my friend a text when I started binging this midweek that went, roughly:

“Ooh, now we’re staging an Italian mini-Epcot to stop the demolition gang, and GLITTER CANONS!! Also we’re ripping off The Great Gatsby.”

...and that’s the vibe, really.

This is the rare drama where I feel confident saying: Watch the first episode. If you like it, you’ll like the rest (so far- ep. 6 just aired). I am a BIG fan.

WandaVision (Disney+ - 9 episodes)

Ohhhh, man. This was so much better than I expected, and the second trailer (above, if YouTube lets you see it where you are) gave me high hopes. It’s probably better if you have a vague idea who Wanda and Vision are, but you know I don’t know that you would really need that?

It’s about nostalgia, love, grief, and the stories we tell ourselves-- the ones that are self-serving, and the stories we thinkserve us, and don’t. It actually lets Wanda lead in her own narrative, for once, but doesn’t undercut what she’s had to go through to get there. Like a Korean drama, the first few episodes are going to seem underwhelming if you’re there for“big P” plot-- but give it room.

Wanda facing down the beekeeper at the end of episode 2 gave me chills like very little has on TV for a while. Elizabeth Olsen packs a lotinto that 2 seconds:

And Kathryn Hahn as Agnes is delightful. She’s totally on the up-and-up, of course-

Secondary shout-out to DR. Darcy Lewis, low-key saving the day and snarking her way through it. So happy to see her again, too.

I’ve watched the whole series now (last episode twice; cried bothtimes) -- and I think this is going to be one of my favorite things of 2021.

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Heyyy I gotta ask: what's it like working in a library? :D

So like, working at a library is probably different from library to library, I can only really speak about my own library? However, *all* libraries are spectacular simply for being safe spaces for democracy, so I highly recommend. XD

I work mostly as an aide, so my job is to shelve/organize books and check in/out books for people. When working at smaller, shorthanded locations, I’ll often stand in for a reference librarian too - so I’ll give book/movies recommendations, help people find books/movies, and generally answer questions (especially those related to ppl needing help with computers).

As you climbthe ladder of positions, however,there’s lots of more stuff you can do. Like a big part of library work is making sure your collection is both organized and diverse. So you haveto get rid of unpopular stuffto make room for newer and popular stuff - but atthe sametime, you haveto weigh its popularity with its diversity. So if something is unpopular but features a diverse character, you might keep it inthe collection anyway.this is basicallythe essence of library work, but - ittakes a lot of years and schoolto be ableto makethe big decisions likethat. Andthere are a lot of different cogs even inthat machine. Likethere’s so much opportunity.

What’s great about working at a library specifically is the fact that you feel good about your job. Like, we hold snack times/movie nights for after school kids to encourage them to go to the library, instead of getting up to Bad Stuff. We are a sanctuary for homeless people, especially during summer and winter, where our building provides shelter from the elements. We hold SO MANY EVENtS omgg like - story time when ppl can bring their tiny babies and read them stories, video games/board games night for teens, yarn events for the elderly. We have free tutoring lessons available by appt where weteach ppl howto use a computerto get a job. My library even has a beekeeping place where we can give away free honey :D

Like. I don’t know how to explain how instrumental libraries are for a community.And it feels so damn goodto be a part ofthat omg, even if all you’re doing is putting books on a shelf. Huge plus for job satisfaction.

My library also happensto be very LGBt+ friendly. So it’s not at all uncommon for meto be working on desk besides a trans-women inthe middle oftransitioning or openly gay people (a.k.a. my boss). It’s a very liberal atmosphere. I feel so safe.t_t

anyway those arethingsthat are probablytrue about most libraries. It would be weird for a libraryto not do most of thesethings… or at least wantto dothesethings.

thingsthat I like specificto my library isthe factthat I can listento audiobooks while shelving,that i’m given a lot of autonomy in doing mytasks… like i don’t haveto asktotake a break or go home, i just do it. most of my shift isjust mindlessly focus on alphabetizingthings lol, which maketime go by fast for me.

the onlythingsthat kinda suck are…

well, one: things can get scary. my library is a hot spot for suicides. alsothe last like 2timesthere was a shooting at my school,the shooter was found at or nearthe library. like, unfortunately, dangerous people tend to flock to libraries becausethey’re a safe place for low income people, which sucks a lot. so it’s scary.however, my library has a very strong policy about patrons committing sexual harassment and a banning/suspending systemthatthey uphold fiercely.the securityteam is always on site andthe fewtimes i’ve been actually scared,they werethere in like 0.5 seconds. so i know i’m protected. it feels safe.

andtwo: you don’t get paid very much. as a quasi-government worker, you’re really atthe whim of government funding.the library is basically a charity lol, so you’re not gonna get paid well. i find, for my situation, it works out okay, but i don’tthink it would be a livable wage unless i was promotedto like… an actual librarian. which requires a degree in library studies. so. bleh. also full-time positions are hardto get. my friend workedthere for years and years and was stillturned down for a position she would have been perfect for. -_- butthey dotheir bestto appreciate us anyway,they really do

Anyway sidenote to anyone: if you’re just starting out atthe work force and looking for a first-time job, i highly recommend working at a library. Atthe very least, you’re gonna feel good about yourself for making a difference inthe world, andthe angry customers won’t getto you as much asthey would in retail. It also looks great on a resume. Like, much betterthan your standard walmart cashier position would. If you havetrouble getting hired at a library, offerto volunteer first. Most libraries hire volunteers forthings like putting holds on a shelf.that alone looks great on a resume, and once you prove yourself, you’re likelyto be hired as an employee later

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SAIL ON, MY LITTLE HONEYBEE, SAIL ON...

YOU’RE GONNA KEEP ON SAILIN’‘,

TILL YOU FIND YOU’RE HAPPY HOMEEEE.

─ albion lailoken cedersen

Hey, did you see that guy? I heard he’s named [ALBION LAILOKEN CEDERSEN]. He’s said to be the nonbinary, demiboy son of an influential beekeeper, born and raised on his fruitful farmlands, but really though? He’s not from around here, he’s from that other side of town named Avalon. He’s in reality much older, around 53 years of chronological age, and is just like anyone there, a fairy, a being of fair background, as he likes to call it. He is their messenger, their mentor, to some extent. He calls himself an Avalonian Melibech, a mixup of both the Greek word ‘meli’ meaning honey, and bech, meaning beehive, in old Irish. Have you ever got the feeling like something weird is happening with the bees of San Francisco? Like you keep getting stings, even if it's mid-winter time? That’s because he, alongside his ‘assumed’ fatherly figure, is the reason for that. They are said so, at least, to change into literal bees when they fall asleep. Other than that? Albion and his father seem pretty harmless, they say they can do weird things with honey, also that they just freaking love it, but besides that they just say they are extremely wise, like they act as if they know EVERYTHING. But do they really, though?

Hey, I’m Leonidas, or just simply Leon. I’m really new to everything tumblr and tumblrrping, so please treat me with kindness and support to go through this but amazing hellhole. I’m gonna play Albion, an oc based on a mythical bee concept I have had for ages, but it’s just a type of fairy, ofcourse. I’m from the netherlands, so my timezone is CENTRAL EUROPEAN TIME. I accidentally wrote my characters name wrong in the app, so let’s not hope that this is an indication of my future here. Ok enough about me, let’s talk about Albion.

Albion is a seemingly appearing 23-year-old Cal-Berkeley veterinarian doctoral student. As long as the assumed fake story goes, he was born and raised in a farm nearby a town not so far away from San Francisco, where his assumed father took care of bees as an influential beekeeper.

Little do they know, the story is much weirder. His father is in fact, a far related cousin of his. They’re what they call the‘Avalonian Melibech’. They come from the fairy realm of Avalon but are destined to leave semipermenantly on Earth, basically to tell the mundane the stories of the unknown beauty of their homeland. In ancient times, those fairies were bards in Celtic Europe, but in modern times they tell their stories differently. They write fantasy novels, tell stories to kids on the street, or go round houses to tell them about a powerful overlord named Oberon.

Albion, just like his cousin that appears to the public as his father, are blessed with two personalities, so to speak. Their true fairy form is a somewhat larger than average honeybee queen that may fool you into thinking they're a bumblebee by appearance. This fairy form always reveals themselves when the normally human-looking personalities they gift themselves on earth, will fall asleep. Meaning that once their humanoid personalities fall in any sort of natural sleep (except from comas, death, and true unconsciousness), they’re true fairy personalities take the turn, making mischief and chaos as long as the humanoid form doesn’t wake up yet. If they do, the bee form disappears in a magical poof, and the awoken humanoid personality is back in control.

Next, to this, Albion’s fairy type isn’t simply called the mentors of the fairies for nothing. They share a mental hivemind, a connection to every past and present family member. This means they can access the current thoughts of their brothers, parents, first-related cousins, and so on, and in addition, they can access any memory, thought, or knowledge a past family member had for themselves, for up to 3 centuries of generations further down the family tree. Albion can also control honey, a substance he can’t get enough from.

PERSONALITY

He’s trying to be an extreme goofball, but he has a lot of trouble understanding jokes and hidden messages. Imagine it like Brainy from Supergirl. Smart, but entirely useless in keeping secrets or understanding the thoughts behind an expression.

He has, like me in real life, but a lot lesser, a lot of autism spectrum disorder traits, possibly suggesting a kind of Asperger‘s.

He has a great fascination of nature, which is often troubling his mission to write and tell stories instead.

He might be a little too headstrong, somewhat denying views on various subjects of many sources strictly, at least those that aren’t from his ancestors.

He’s truly naive sometimes, rather feeling like a free and cheering but annoying little kid, than a responsible, full-fledged well-adulted individual.

He’s into anything geeky from Earth, comics, movies, pulp fiction, tv shows, he’d probably be hella active on tumblr too, having a lot of online friends to share his fanfiction and slampoems with.

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30 Weird Careers You Never Knew Existed That Might Help You Find Your Calling

1.I work in QC (Quality Control) for media.

In one company they occasionally paid me to watch porn to make sure it was in sync and in good quality for video on demand distribution.

In another company I spent years watching movies before release in secure theater-like rooms, to make sure the files are ready for distribution (subtitles and audio in sync, no picture corruptions, stuff like that). I always got to watch the biggest movies of the year in a giant screen weeks before they were released (sometimes months!).

I got the job by going to film school.

2.I spend about 80% of my day designing those large overhead signs you see on the highway.

3.I design water parks. I went to college for Graphic Design and Advertising. In my last year I had to do an internship, so I took one at an aquatic engineering firm to help organize photos. 10 years later I am a project manager and create resort deck and water park programs.

4.My boyfriend is a high rise window cleaner. There are only 4 in our city. He loves his job! Sometimes when he is working, I will go to the city to the building he is cleaning and look up at him on the street. So cute.

5.I used to work on a lavender farm! It’s totally unrelated to my field of study and incredibly difficult in terms of manual labor, but man was it a beautiful place. I tended to the plants, took care of goats, and did processing for the herbs and honey. My grandparents are farmers and so I grew up with mediocre knowledge of field work and beekeeping and when a friend’s mom decided to start a business centered around lavender she asked me to help out for the summer.

6.You know when you’re watching a sports program and you see the little pop-graphic in the corner (ie. a baseball players stats, or an advertisement for easy-mac, or “stay tuned for Saved By the Bell @ 9!”)? Yeah. That was me.

7.I work in a lab where I raise moths! I got it by telling my lab partner that I love bugs and he hooked me up.

8.I’m a chyron operator. I trigger motion graphics on live TV. I was an art student and also was in stage crew in high school. These things got me jobs backstage in theater, which got me a job in TV doing normal stuff like cameraman and stuff like that. Since I was an art major I asked if I could do graphics and they let me on the weekends, and my specialty eventually turned to the chyron which ingests the graphics that artists make and plays them back through the switcher that controls the news broadcast. It’s not technically an art position but at my job specifically I could make the graphics in after effects and photoshop during the day (if I have a computer free) and in the afternoon I play the chyron. Usually you are one or the other, because chyron operators don’t need art skills, it’s just another tech job like audio operator or camera operator or stage manager or whatever. These kinds of jobs are getting rarer because they are being automated. But since I’m also an artist I get to keep my job because if someone leaves I can take their job.

9.I used to be a hand model.

Apparently I have really really good looking hands. Although they look completely normal to me.

People were always asking me how I got into it so it was fun to bullshit people I was “discovered” on the street, now I moisturize 15 times a day and sleep with my hands in plastic bags….

The money was great but I’d have to spend long days on set being careful not to wreck my manicure. (Which they paid for of course! Also paid for the time it took to get the manicure.)

Mostly did TV commercials.

Now I tell people at parties I’m a retired international hand model but gave up show business for the much more worthwhile and rewarding career of teaching kids to read….

10.I’m a Hostage Survival Trainer.

I was working in international development within IT, and was asked to go and sort out the finance system in Iraq back in 2007. The ministry I was working in got attacked by a militia and myself along with my 4 guards got captured.

Over time the guards were killed and I got released in an exchange deal after being held for over 2.5 years.

11.I spent a year on a team reclassifying the Duke University Library system from Dewey Decimal to Library of Congress. Had to learn like four different alphabets just to label them properly.

12.Official court stenographer. I type everything everyone says in court. I was told about it in high school and thought it sounded cool so I went for it. Took 5 1/2 years in college, but I’m nationally certified to type 260 WPM and regularly push above 300 WPM in court.

13.Cameraman for Live PD. Went to film school to make movies then slowly worked through Ice Road Truckers, Ax Men, Boston’s Finest, and Nightwatch. Found out I have a perfect blend of art and athleticism that can be hard to find.

14.I make whiskey. It took a shit load of time, luck, skill and perseverance to get where I am.

15.Stagehand. I set up everything from huge concerts and Broadway shows to small private events and interviews. It’s a wonderful job and I love the people I work with.

16.I was a puppeteer for many years and I actually got that job from an ad in the classifieds. It cracks me up that there is a scene in Being John Malkovich where he tries to find “puppeteer” in the classifieds and fails.

17.I have been an online Community Manager for over 20 years.

I started in video games and moved into technology companies. I’ve worked on everything fromStar Warsto telecommunications networking equipment and software that help companies move data fast.

It started as a hobby. I was a web developer so very fluent with the web. Started a fan site and grew up it large. Moved on to volunteer for another game company who eventually hired me full time.

18.My parents are escape artists and escape consultants. My dad started as a magician doing birthday parties as a teen, then got really into escapes, then became the #1 guy designing and consulting on escapes for famous top magicians.

19.I have a job tracking rodents in restaurants. I set up cameras, movement sensors, IR sensors and other gear, and get an idea of the problem and how to fix it.

20.I used to cut pictures of weewees and hohas off packaging of adult toys. All day every day. I got the job by being able to pass a drug test.

21.I mix fire retardant for fighting wildfires. A lot of people know that airplanes drop retardant on fires but don’t think about the millions of dollars of infrastructure that is behind that operation. Everyone who works at my base started by working at the local ski resort. It’s a good way to earn enough money in the summer to coast all winter so we keep the jobs among fellow ski bums.

22.In the summer I guard and clean the toilet units (not the toilets) for festivals. I got the job trying to find a cheap way to go to the big festivals and this organization was looking for volunteers.

So all I have to do is stand in front of the units, make sure the ground stays clean, everyone had toilet paper and clear a block of units so the cleaning team can do their job.

Another part of the job is making sure no one dies or passes out in such a unit. You can’t imagine how many drunk (often naked) people we need to get out of these units and escort them to the First Aid.

23.I’m a potter. I used to be the manager for a museum art school, and began taking classes there years ago. Eventually transitioned into being a full time potter and pottery teacher.

24.I work as an Air Traffic Controller. Not weird but not many of us around.

I pretty much fell into it after passing an aptitude and it’s just been swell since.

Albeit, the classic phrase from strangers: isn’t that the job with the most suicides?

It might be, but I don’t know anyone. It’s actually super chill and rewarding when you get it right. (We always try get it right, but when you get it super right you’re dead pleased.)

25.I’m a welder. But what I do isn’t very common. I build Virginia Class Submarines.

26.Water Quality testing. I go around and collect samples for various testing to ensure the water meets the state standards. I got lucky and met someone who was volunteering at my previous job and she told me to apply. Was not the direction I saw my career going but it was definitely worth it.

27.I cleaned grills for super rich people in Palm Beach. Even got to clean Michael Jordan’s at one point. And it was recommended to me from a friend who was in sobriety with me after I got clean.

28.I’m a House Manager for a family of four, basically I’m a female butler. I’ve worked for them for 14 years starting as the kid’s Nanny, they’re my second family pretty much! I organize trades people, holidays, birthdays, daily meals, dinner parties, housekeeping, the list goes on… It’s challenging at times but keeps me on my toes and I enjoy that.

29.Concrete petrographer. I just started this month. I studied geology in college and now my job is to look at concrete using petrographic methods I learned at school and conduct ASTM tests to determine quality of concrete. Very interesting work because concrete is engineered rock and there’s A LOT more to it than you think.

30.I work in a clinical lab where I get to play with baby sweat for a bit of my day. We are testing for chloride level. Increased chloride in sweat is one of the diagnostic markers for cystic fibrosis. I am a clinical laboratory scientist. Not all clinical labs perform this test but I am lucky enough to work at a lab where we do a couple interesting low volume tests.

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30 Minute Experiment: Reset/Reboot #30ME

Okay, let’s do this. A bit earlier than usual since I’m up early but also because I missed Saturday’s #30ME and when I decided to try to do it yesterday instead, I couldn’t get Tumblr working, and it took all day for me to try actually just logging out and signing back in again. I’ll know now if that ever happens again.

Anyway, the topic I wanted to write about on Saturday that ended up seeming better for Easter Sunday... without me really knowing much about the actual holiday other than it representing rejuvenation, although that seemed rather apropos for the topic I had chosen which is the concept of either resetting or rebooting.

There’s a bit of a difference between the two, although in some ways they’re related. I consider resetting like literally going back to the beginning and starting from scratch, while rebooting feels more like reinventing yourself. Both ideas seem very timely and appropriate to write about because it seems like there is a lot of that going on in this month where many of us have been quarantined due to the pandemic.

I see friends who always seem to be busy with their work baking bread and cooking and doing all these things that I seriously would have never imagined them having any interest in it. In some cases, I’m wondering if they’re bored or they’re enjoying these new hobbies so much that they might consider changing career paths and trying something new. This isn’t something that new as I’ve seen one friend who went from being a writer/editor at a serious New York newspaper pursuing his dream of writing comics. One long-time film critic colleague turned his back on that to bake brownies. Then there’s the case of my brother who was an amazing security and IT guy working for the likes of AOL and Langley before he decided to get a masters in library sciences, get into archiving and library, and now, he seems very happy and stress-free as a beekeeper. And a quite successful one, mind you, going by the honey his hives produce that I’ve putting in my tea the past week and enjoying via some honeycomb I nibble on at night.

The thing is that I’ve seen so many friends and family reboot and reinvent myself, and I just can’t seem to get into that head myself, even when it comes to using this downtime from movies to do something more constructively than doing this 30 minutes of free-writing each day. (I have been working on a few of my screenplays, too, and trying to do 30 minutes of that and 30 minutes of housecleaning every day to varying success.)

I understand why there is a necessity to reset and reboot and try to change thing when something like this pandemic happens, and it’s not like my life is so grand and wonderful as it is that I’m clutching onto it longingly not wanting to lose what I have. Far from it.

No, I can definitely see my life being better or different than it is, and I know full well that it’s up to me to take that plunge and reset/reboot. I have no one in my family or any friends that will push or prompt me to do so, since most of them know full well how tenacious I am. I have literally become that old dog that doesn’t want to learn any new tricks. I mean, it’s not like I’m sleeping that late or taking long naps or suffering from depression (which has been the case last year even though I was working and writing about movies again... for money, if not a living).

You see, I’ve already rebooted myself several times in my life already. I didn’t actually start writing regularly until about 25 years ago. I didn’t start writing about movies until about 18 years ago. Heck, I didn’t even start watching movies regularly until about 20 years ago. I just started doing it, discovered it was something I could do, and then discovered I could get paid to do it (and presumably read) so I just kept doing it... over and over... often with weekly columns that sometimes brought me more joy when they were done then when I was actually writing then. Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy doing the Weekend Warrior now more than ever, especially since I have more freedom to write about what I want when I write. It’s just harder to get excited about it when I can’t talk about the box office or theatrical releases which have become a real passion for me during those 18 years or os.

So no, this won’t be me deciding to quit writing about movies. When they come back, I’ll be back to trying to do interviews with filmmakers of interesting movies I like, but it’s hard not to spend so much time not thinking about box office/movies and not having other things circulating around my brain. (if reading these 30 Minute Experiments hasn’t made it all too obvious.)

One thing I’ve been doing for the last few weeks that’s gotten me more and more excited every day are these nightly events called #TimsTwitterListeningParties. Maybe it seems obvious but Tim Burgess, the singer from The Charlatans (you may remember their break-out single“The Only One I Know” that played a lot on alternative and college radio in the‘90s). Well, he started this thing where he picks an album for his followers to all listen to at the same time, but what’s even cooler about is that he’s been able to get cool musicians and people involved with those records to listen to them, too, and they tweet stories about the album and the songs and the making of the record and stories from that time, as well as showing pictures. This has led to these amazing experiences with thousands of people listening to records like the Flaming Lips’“The Soft Bulletin” while two members of the band discuss each track and how they came about, or The Beta Bands’“3 EPS” where members of the band that have long broken up talk about it. Or yesterday with the double feature of Pulp’s“Different Class” and New Order’s“Power, Corruption and Lies” -- an album I never got into combined with an album I absolutely LOVE.

These are going on for the next few weeks as Burgess has managed to get some amazing artists to talk about classic albums including some of my favorite bands like Supergrass, Ash, The Cult...and more and more... but also bands I never really got into like Mogwai and the Pogues and others who have made classic albums.

So what does this have to reboot/reset, Ed, you’re asking yourself while reading the last three paragraphs? Well, some of you may or may not know that I spent 20 years trying to be a recording engineer and producer of music, because I absolutely love music. I’m quickly learning that I can live without movies or visual stimulation but I can not live without music, and the more I listen to these great albums, the more it reminds me why I moved to NYC and wanted to be a recording engineer and make great records.

That didn’t exactly work out for me for various reasons that include my (still present) immaturity, but I definitely feel that I’ve gotten better at dealing with people i.e not musicians and the more I hear this record, the more I wonder if I should just do something to get back to my love of music.

The thing is that I didn’t always love the process of making records -- and maybe I’ll discuss in this in a future installment -- but as soon as I think back to all my time spent behind a console or computer screen recording and mixing, I also think about how much of a compromise is involved with making music, whether you’re a producer/engineer working with a band or an engineer working with a producer or whatever. I just never felt like I was good enough to earn the respect of some of my peers, and I found that writing was something I could do by myself and either my editors liked what I did and gave it the thumbs up or (in the worst cases) would rewrite something themselves, completely changing any passion I put into the original piece. The latter hasn’t happened in a very long time... okay, maybe a few times... but it also leaves me in a place where I wonder if the best way for me personally to reboot/reset would be find a way to do what I love, get paid to do it and not have to constantly compromise everything I was doing. I kind of had that at ComingSoon.net but had other issues that probably came out of not having the power or control I wanted to call any of the shots. I’m not sure if that changed too much when I started doing freelance work but the money just never was as good.

So the question now is... do I reset? Do I start again doing something brand new at my advanced age and see what happens? Or do I simply reset, where I find a way to reinvent myself, so I don’t get as bored or frustrated with my situation which is something I’m constantly facing.

Listen, I know I’m not gonna start baking bread for a living, but I wonder if there’s a way that I can get back into the music business in some way.. as a manager or record label person or marketing. Obviously, I don’t have as much recent experience as others, and maybe I’m not in tune with NEW music, but I do know what makes a good song that makes me happy so why couldn’t I find a way to help promote music that makes others happy? Surely my advance years gives me a little bit of credibility of having knowledge and experience that maybe someone in their 20s out of college would’t have, even if they obviously would have more energy and enthusiasm than me.

I was thinking of all these great record producers who are now in their 60s and 70s who are still making great records, so maybe my reset/reboot has to be about going back to what I love and doing something that can keep me happy but also give me a little more control of what or how I’m doing it. It’s definitely something I’ll keep thinking about over the next few weeks or however longer I’m trapped in isolation. (Believe me, it’s not been fun sitting in this tiny cramped and cluttered apartment by myself for four weeks but I’ve found things to keep me entertained and relatively happy... now I just need to find a way to earn an income or living doing so.)

I’m almost out of time so ... yup, that’s it for me. Back to writing this week’s Weekend Warrior! Tomorrow!

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Chilling in the Desert: 7 Summer Deals

To celebrate my daughter’s college graduation in May, I wanted to treat her to a luxurious getaway with my sister. We initially eyed a spa weekend in Massachusetts or Pennsylvania, but got sticker shock from the prices, which averaged $2,000 per person for the weekend. My sister, a seasoned traveler, got an idea. If it was luxury we craved, why not stay at an upscale resort in a place that’s eager to attract tourists in the summer?

We decided on a long weekend in July at Andaz Scottsdale Resort & Bungalows in Scottsdale, Ariz., where the temperatures ranged from 90 to 110 degrees. The resort’s “Heat It Up in Scottsdale” summer package starts at $189 a night and includes two cocktails per person per day, a waived resort fee (usually a $39-a-day charge), a full breakfast for each person, served until 3 p.m., and 25 percent off spa services. Compare that to peak season rates, which start at $349 a night, without any of the inclusions.

The 185-room resort, redeveloped in 2016, consists of exquisite, midcentury-modern, single-story bungalows with their own entrances and patios. We upgraded to a 750-square-foot suite for $344 a night, which, in our case, included two roomy bathrooms with 40-square-foot showers. The upgrade came with a private, poolside cabana with a plush couch, table and chairs, a ceiling fan and a flat-screen television. Other perks and amenities were a “libation exploration” class, where visitors are instructed on how to make their favorite cocktails; a free early morning yoga class by the pool with Camelback Mountain as the backdrop, and complimentary homemade potato chips, chocolates and salt water taffy in the room.

Vacationing in this type of heat takes strategic planning. We typically rose by 6 a.m. or so to hike in the nearby mountains or sit poolside with our coffee. Afternoons were spent in the pool, sipping cocktails while perched in comfy floats. We found containers of ice water, along with sunscreen and aloe pump bottles, strategically placed throughout the resort. Besides cheaper rates, sweltering temperatures kept the crowds down; on a weekday, we had the giant pool nearly to ourselves.

The Andaz is one of several desert destinations offering a taste of luxury at bargain rates in the summer. Here’s a glimpse at a few others.

Scottsdale, Ariz.

The amenities: Stellar views of the McDowell Mountains and an amazing water scene, which by itself is dazzling, provide ample opportunities to stay cool. There are 10 swimming pools — including one for adults — 20 fountains, 45 waterfalls and a 30-foot, three-story, high-speed water slide, as well as a man-made beach with a 5,000-square-foot sandy beach area. For $15 an hour per child, children ages 3 to 12 can attend the resort’s activity-filled Camp Hyatt. There’s also a spa, a golf course and eight restaurants.

The deal: With “Summer Made Simple,” children 12 and under get a free dinner each day from the children’s menu in two of the restaurants, as long as at least one adult is paying for a full-price meal. Children 18 and under play one round of golf free per day with a paying adult. Rates start at $139 per night, not including the $40-plus tax resort fee, which covers self-parking and bicycle rentals. Peak season rates start at $450 a night.

Beating the heat: The resort offers several poolside activities, including watermelon-eating contests, inner tube races and water balloon tosses. There’s also nightly live entertainment when the sun goes down.

Tucson, Ariz.

The amenities: Situated in the Santa Catalina Mountains, Miraval Arizona is a premiere wellness spa. The all-inclusive resort, where no tipping is allowed, features casita-style accommodations. There are more than 120 complimentary wellness activities, lectures and fitness classes weekly, along with three pools and 24-hour access to a newly renovated Body Mindfulness Fitness Center.

The deal: Summer rates start at $399 per person per night, compared to $699 in the winter. Rates include: a $175 nightly resort credit per person that can be used toward spa services; classes like beekeeping and cooking or private sessions for services like personalized nutrition counseling; fitness classes; all meals, as well as snacks, smoothies and nonalcoholic beverages; and shared shuttle transfers from Tucson International Airport.

Beating the heat: Most of the outdoor programs take place early in the morning. Miraval hosts a series of full moon programs each summer, including Celestial Yoga and Twilight Zipline.

Palm Springs, Calif.

The amenities: Opened in November 2017, The Rowan is the first new hotel built in downtown Palm Springs in decades and, at seven stories, the tallest. Each of the 153 rooms have either views of the nearby San Jacinto Mountains or private outdoor terraces. There’s a rooftop pool with a bar, and custom-designed bikes available for guests to borrow. An evening social hour offers free beer and wine. Access to hiking trails are right in the hotel’s backyard.

The deal: The Rowan offers a global summer sale: Rates start at $147 a night for midweek stays (compared to $289 during high season), and at $225 for weekends (compared to $289 during high season). Its “100 days of Rosé” package, offered for stays through Sept. 20 to those 21 and over, includes two cans of rosé a day and a 2 p.m. late checkout. Rates start at $200 a night, compared to $289 for the high season rate.

Beating the heat: Guests can watch the summer’s meteor showers from the hotel rooftop.

Las Vegas, Nev.

The amenities: Though it’s on the famed Las Vegas Strip, the Four Seasons has a nonsmoking, nongaming atmosphere in a resort setting. In addition to the resort’s private pool, guests can use the pool complex at the adjacent Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino. Guests also have access via a “secret” door to the casino-level entrance at Mandalay Bay.

The deal: Summer rates start at $220 per night versus $300 during peak season. Guests can also book the “Experience More” package, with rates starting at $280 per night, based on a two-night stay. This includes a $100 hotel credit that can be used for the spa or to book a private poolside cabana. Deals can be found here.

Beating the heat: The resort offers complimentary amenities poolside, including Evian spritzes, chilled fruit and oshibori towels.

Los Cabos, Mexico

The amenities: Situated on Cabo’s coastline, this resort aims to provide the quintessential luxury experience. There are 84 accommodations, including 12 beach villas. Five dining venues specialize in different types of dining experiences, including a teppanyaki ice-cream bar and a tequila-and-ceviche bar. A new 5,000-square-foot pool with a view of the sea has a swim-up bar.

The deals: Guests who stay three nights can receive the fourth night free. An ocean-view junior suite is $674 a night, compared to $1,125 in the winter. The “More Rosewood” offer includes breakfast for two daily and an in-room tequila welcome.

Beating the heat: A team of pool butlers are available to massage your feet, clean your sunglasses, mist you with cold Evian spray to keep you cool and bring you complimentary seasonal Popsicles, sorbets and lemonade. A floating breakfast tray allows you to eat breakfast in the pool.

Indian Wells, Calif.

Amenities: Nestled against the Santa Rosa Mountains in the greater Palm Springs area, this is an 11-acre resort with its own citrus and herb garden that the chef uses to prepare food. There are three pools. Complimentary yoga sessions are held every Saturday morning.

The deal: The resort has a variety of vacation specials, including “Summer Chill” where you stay two nights and get the third night free. Summer rates start at $109 a night, plus a $35 resort fee; the starting rate at peak season is $211. Kids eat free all summer. For “Kick Off Summer,” you can stay three nights and get a $100 resort credit for use in the Citrus & Palm restaurant, Tavern or Well Spa. Offers can be found here.

Beating the heat: The Starlight Sip & Swim is a cabana rental program from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights through the end of summer. It includes a pitcher of sangria or margaritas. Cost is $100. Guests can also watch complimentary movies on Friday and Saturday at dusk.

Sahred From Source link Travel

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@choices-sideblog tagged me in a tag game :)

Nicknames: recently some of my friends call me Zoseph sometimes, otherwise I don’t have any

Zodiac: pisces

Height: 5′5"

Time: 10:35 PM when I started drafting this post

Favorite Band: Darlingside and Bastille

Song Stuck in my Head: I don’t really actively have anything stuck in my head right now because I’m listening to music but I guess I sort of have The Word of Your Body in the background

Last Movie I Saw: I don’t actually remember oh wait I just looked it up and it was the movie version of Moulin Rouge

Last Thing I Googled: a book for one of my classes

Other Blogs: @ao3feed-springawakening @aromantic-agatha @blogonthecob@starspangledthongs @burrwhatwillyoufallfor @happy-grantaire (I’m a co-mod) and I have my full name saved as a url in case I get famous lol

Do I Get Asks: no except occasionally from Teresa but please feel free to send me asks whenever

Why I Chose This Username: I wanted something from Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe which is one of my favorite books and I just thought this sounded nice

Average Amount of Sleep: varies but between 7 and 10

Lucky Number: 17 (Teresa I just looked at your answer for this and wow do we need to fight)

What I’m Wearing: a black dress with white flowers

Dream Job: beekeeping falconer wedding planning funeral home director and I’m only half joking

Dream Trip: anywhere outside of New England tbh

Favorite Food: ravioli?

Play Any Instruments: I wish

Eye Color: that white girl blue/gray/green thing

Hair Color: light brown I guess

Languages: realistically I could absolutely only communicate in English but I did take French, Latin, and Italian in school and am doing Duolingo German so I know some little bits and pieces of each of those

Most Iconic Song: I don’t know

Random Fact: a couple hours ago there was SUCH a loud thunderstorm outside it was nuts

not tagging anyone because I don’t feel like it but thanks Teresa and anyone else can do it if you want

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Cooking with steam is another important method in China, but surprisingly in an unknown area, called a jung called steam.

Cooking with steam is another important method in China, but surprisingly in an unknown area, called a jung called steam free full movies They are eating their closest food in the US food stall. Both methods use water rather than oil to convey heat, but the similarities are complete. For example, if you flush a fish, it's going to be partially submerged in water. Also, you can not use other substances to improve the tone of the poultry (they only add to the spice flavor). But in the steam, the taste is 100% absorbed inside of it. They can add flavor to other ingredients. In this way fish are so pleasing fish, fish make such a way. In the Western world, however, it is stubborn: "I do not like fish." If you try to simplify this simple procedure, you'll probably also change. Roasted fish 1 fish (full or large, full or enclosed and confused) 2. Sugar Peanut Oil 2 teaspoons of soy bean 2 teaspoons of tomato 2 spaghetti or green onions, they are better 6 green leaf clover 5 dried mushrooms, Then salted salt Peripherals 2 Beekeepers: Pork or Taste (Pieces) Cook for home-cooking oven at home, use a traditional bamboo boat, Chinese style or large coated barn. Cover the bottom of 2 inches long, and place a lock on top of it or use a cleaner plate to keep the lathe above the water. Bake fish in liquid liquids and spread the rest of the ingredients over it. When the water gets hot, put the fish on the roof, it's now hot. Provide the cover and the heat to the testicle until it is exposed to the bones and until it is clean. Place the blossoms in the cosmetics palette. The whole idea is to cook fish for a little heat, in order to keep its focus and its sweetness. If the water does not go out into the water, it can be used in a hot place before cooking it. The difference may be short, but the quality will have a lasting taste. Similarly, the plastic bottle of the fish must be overheated in the steam, Perhaps a hint that could be considered a "secret." And until the completion of 99%, the heating will continue until the end of perfection.

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Robots, stripper poles and swamps: 10 hotels with outrageous attractions

Its a bird, its a plane, its a…bee hive?

Thats just one of the unexpected attractions you may find at one of these hotels that make these properties more than just a place to see. From swanky potty training seats to psychic residents, here are 10 surprises in store for your next overnight visit.

1. Robot Concierge, Hilton McLean Tysons Corner – Tysons Corner, Va.

Hilton McLean Tysons Corner

Want a recommendation for the best Chinese food near your hotel or need to know how late the fitness center is open? Meet Connie the Concierge at Hilton McLean Tysons Corner just outside Washington, D.C. The property serves as Hiltons test site for new products and services for the global chain. This concierge robot, which is powered by IBM Watson and named for Hiltons founder Conrad Hilton, can answer hundreds of guest queries on command. As more guests interact with Connie, the robot learns and improves its answers.

2. Potty Training Seat and Disco Elevator, LEGOLAND Hotel – Carlsbad, Calif.

Designed with kids in mind, the LEGOLAND Hotel at LEGOLAND California Resort outside San Diego has plenty of over-the-top features for kids of a variety of ages — and that even includes a souped-up potty training seat. The cleverly-designed toilet has a fold-down training seat that youngsters can use to make going potty a little easier when away from home. And adults can simply lift it up when not needed. The fun hotel also has a pint-sized peephole in the room and a surprise elevator that turns into a disco as you start to go up or down. How can you leave without a smile on your face? Everything is awesome!

3. Camaro Billiard Table, Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Maya – Riviera Maya, Mexico

Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Maya

There are a lot of things you can do with a Camaro, but turning it into a billiard table is pretty unique. The Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Mayaturned its classic car into a pool table for the resorts over-the-top Bret Michaels Rock Star Suite designed by the singer. The Camaro is reminiscent of a car Bret once owned and the room is adorned with artifacts from Michaels himself and his fans. Other fun room features include a private theater, a desk chair made from Harley Davidson parts, a guitar amp mini fridge, a hammock on the balcony and more.

4. Swamp, Big Cypress Lodge – Memphis, Tennessee

Big Cypress Lodge

While you wont find any alligators here, there is a full swamp inside the Big Cypress Lodge in Memphis. Located within the 32-story Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, which once served as a sports and concert arena, the wilderness-inspired hotel has a Cypress Swamp on the ground floor complete with 100-foot tall replica cypress trees, a network of ponds and streams with thousands of live fish, and the countrys tallest free-standing elevator made of glass for ultimate swamp views. The rooms continue the theme with many designed to look like tree houses or vintage duck hunting camps.

5. Barber Shop, Four Seasons Resort and Residences Vail Vail, Colorado

Four Seasons Resort and Residences Vail

Shave and a haircut, two bits? You can definitely get cleaned up at this swanky on-site barbershop at the Four Seasons Resort and Residences in Vail– but itll cost you a bit more than two cents. Try $70. But its well worth it, because at this barbershop, you can enjoy a drink of 10th Mountain whiskey or a beer from Crazy Mountain Brewery while the barber does his thing. Other services include a head shave, moustache, beard or goatee trim and a scalp massage.

6. Robots, Crowne Plaza San Jose-Silicon Valley – Milpitas, Calif.

Crowne Plaza

Forgot your toothbrush or need more towels? Dont expect the housekeeping staff to show up to your hotel room at the Crowne Plaza San Jose-Silicon Valley. Instead, you just might find Dash the robot at your door with toiletries in tow. The robot stores the items in an internal compartment, which guests can lift to retrieve their goods. Dash, which stands three-feet tall and weighs 100 pounds, travels at human walking pace and gets where hes going unaccompanied. It can even navigate between floors and use the elevator.

7. Stripper Pole, Andaz San Diego – San Diego, Calif.

Andaz San Diego

For guests looking for something sexier than a Jacuzzi tub, the Star Suite at the Andaz San Diego ups the ante with a stripper pole in the master bedroom. No classes on how to use the pole are included, but the suite does feature a floor-to-ceiling glass shower that fogs up with the touch of a button and offers dual shower heads along with views of the pole and king-sized bunk beds. Andaz San Diego is in the hip Gaslamp Quarter of downtown San Diego full of restaurants, clubs and bars to start your evening before heading back to the privacy of your sensual suite.

8. Psychic, The Stanley Hotel – Estes Park, Colo.

The Stanley Hotel

What does your future hold? You may be able to find out the next time you stay at famously spooky Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colo., which opened in 1909. The historic haunted hotel made famous as the inspiration for Stephen Kings The Shining has its very own resident psychic, Madame Vera, who is most happy to tell your fortune — for better or worse. But just walking in isn’t recommended. Youll need to schedule an appointment for a psychic reading with Madame Vera, who has been in business for more than 25 years. When you arent divining your future, enjoy nearby Rocky Mountain National Park and amazing mountain views of the Rockies in all directions.

9. A Town, Danville Inn – Orlando, Fla.

The Danville Inn

Walk up to the Danville Inn, the front of which appears to be a country-style front porch, and at the touch a button, the porch lifts and you are instantly transported inside an airport hangar that’s designed to look like a town. Inside youll find the luxury two-room inn, an Irish pub, gazebo and even a theater to watch a movie. There are other hangars nearby that you can walk to or visit by Segway to see classic cars, planes and even a dedicated Man Cave. The versatile venue is popular with brides and grooms for weddings and honeymoons.

10. Bee Hive, Seaport Boston – Boston, Mass.

Seaport Boston Hotel

The Seaport Boston Hotel located on Boston Harbor in the Seaport District has some special residents on its roof: one million bees. The bees live in seven hives, which stand several feet high. The staff have been trained as beekeepers to care for the bees and help harvest the honey, which is then used in the hotels restaurant and cafes in foods, desserts and drinks. Try the Honey and Vanilla Cupcakes, Bee Pollen Smoothie Shots, Honey and Bee Pollen Popcorn and Honey and Orange Iced Tea for a natural and sweet treat.

Lyn Mettler is an Indianapolis, Ind.-based travel writer. She is the author of The Step-by-Step Guide to Earning Your Southwest Companion Pass. You can find her at www.GotoTravelGal.com or on Twitter at @GotoTravelGal.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/17/robots-stripper-poles-and-swamps-10-hotels-with-outrageous-attractions/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161943163732

0 notes

Robots, stripper poles and swamps: 10 hotels with outrageous attractions

Its a bird, its a plane, its a…bee hive?

Thats just one of the unexpected attractions you may find at one of these hotels that make these properties more than just a place to see. From swanky potty training seats to psychic residents, here are 10 surprises in store for your next overnight visit.

1. Robot Concierge, Hilton McLean Tysons Corner – Tysons Corner, Va.

Hilton McLean Tysons Corner

Want a recommendation for the best Chinese food near your hotel or need to know how late the fitness center is open? Meet Connie the Concierge at Hilton McLean Tysons Corner just outside Washington, D.C. The property serves as Hiltons test site for new products and services for the global chain. This concierge robot, which is powered by IBM Watson and named for Hiltons founder Conrad Hilton, can answer hundreds of guest queries on command. As more guests interact with Connie, the robot learns and improves its answers.

2. Potty Training Seat and Disco Elevator, LEGOLAND Hotel – Carlsbad, Calif.

Designed with kids in mind, the LEGOLAND Hotel at LEGOLAND California Resort outside San Diego has plenty of over-the-top features for kids of a variety of ages — and that even includes a souped-up potty training seat. The cleverly-designed toilet has a fold-down training seat that youngsters can use to make going potty a little easier when away from home. And adults can simply lift it up when not needed. The fun hotel also has a pint-sized peephole in the room and a surprise elevator that turns into a disco as you start to go up or down. How can you leave without a smile on your face? Everything is awesome!

3. Camaro Billiard Table, Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Maya – Riviera Maya, Mexico

Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Maya

There are a lot of things you can do with a Camaro, but turning it into a billiard table is pretty unique. The Hard Rock Hotel Riviera Mayaturned its classic car into a pool table for the resorts over-the-top Bret Michaels Rock Star Suite designed by the singer. The Camaro is reminiscent of a car Bret once owned and the room is adorned with artifacts from Michaels himself and his fans. Other fun room features include a private theater, a desk chair made from Harley Davidson parts, a guitar amp mini fridge, a hammock on the balcony and more.

4. Swamp, Big Cypress Lodge – Memphis, Tennessee

Big Cypress Lodge

While you wont find any alligators here, there is a full swamp inside the Big Cypress Lodge in Memphis. Located within the 32-story Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, which once served as a sports and concert arena, the wilderness-inspired hotel has a Cypress Swamp on the ground floor complete with 100-foot tall replica cypress trees, a network of ponds and streams with thousands of live fish, and the countrys tallest free-standing elevator made of glass for ultimate swamp views. The rooms continue the theme with many designed to look like tree houses or vintage duck hunting camps.

5. Barber Shop, Four Seasons Resort and Residences Vail Vail, Colorado

Four Seasons Resort and Residences Vail

Shave and a haircut, two bits? You can definitely get cleaned up at this swanky on-site barbershop at the Four Seasons Resort and Residences in Vail– but itll cost you a bit more than two cents. Try $70. But its well worth it, because at this barbershop, you can enjoy a drink of 10th Mountain whiskey or a beer from Crazy Mountain Brewery while the barber does his thing. Other services include a head shave, moustache, beard or goatee trim and a scalp massage.

6. Robots, Crowne Plaza San Jose-Silicon Valley – Milpitas, Calif.

Crowne Plaza

Forgot your toothbrush or need more towels? Dont expect the housekeeping staff to show up to your hotel room at the Crowne Plaza San Jose-Silicon Valley. Instead, you just might find Dash the robot at your door with toiletries in tow. The robot stores the items in an internal compartment, which guests can lift to retrieve their goods. Dash, which stands three-feet tall and weighs 100 pounds, travels at human walking pace and gets where hes going unaccompanied. It can even navigate between floors and use the elevator.

7. Stripper Pole, Andaz San Diego – San Diego, Calif.

Andaz San Diego

For guests looking for something sexier than a Jacuzzi tub, the Star Suite at the Andaz San Diego ups the ante with a stripper pole in the master bedroom. No classes on how to use the pole are included, but the suite does feature a floor-to-ceiling glass shower that fogs up with the touch of a button and offers dual shower heads along with views of the pole and king-sized bunk beds. Andaz San Diego is in the hip Gaslamp Quarter of downtown San Diego full of restaurants, clubs and bars to start your evening before heading back to the privacy of your sensual suite.

8. Psychic, The Stanley Hotel – Estes Park, Colo.

The Stanley Hotel

What does your future hold? You may be able to find out the next time you stay at famously spooky Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colo., which opened in 1909. The historic haunted hotel made famous as the inspiration for Stephen Kings The Shining has its very own resident psychic, Madame Vera, who is most happy to tell your fortune — for better or worse. But just walking in isn’t recommended. Youll need to schedule an appointment for a psychic reading with Madame Vera, who has been in business for more than 25 years. When you arent divining your future, enjoy nearby Rocky Mountain National Park and amazing mountain views of the Rockies in all directions.

9. A Town, Danville Inn – Orlando, Fla.

The Danville Inn

Walk up to the Danville Inn, the front of which appears to be a country-style front porch, and at the touch a button, the porch lifts and you are instantly transported inside an airport hangar that’s designed to look like a town. Inside youll find the luxury two-room inn, an Irish pub, gazebo and even a theater to watch a movie. There are other hangars nearby that you can walk to or visit by Segway to see classic cars, planes and even a dedicated Man Cave. The versatile venue is popular with brides and grooms for weddings and honeymoons.

10. Bee Hive, Seaport Boston – Boston, Mass.

Seaport Boston Hotel

The Seaport Boston Hotel located on Boston Harbor in the Seaport District has some special residents on its roof: one million bees. The bees live in seven hives, which stand several feet high. The staff have been trained as beekeepers to care for the bees and help harvest the honey, which is then used in the hotels restaurant and cafes in foods, desserts and drinks. Try the Honey and Vanilla Cupcakes, Bee Pollen Smoothie Shots, Honey and Bee Pollen Popcorn and Honey and Orange Iced Tea for a natural and sweet treat.

Lyn Mettler is an Indianapolis, Ind.-based travel writer. She is the author of The Step-by-Step Guide to Earning Your Southwest Companion Pass. You can find her at www.GotoTravelGal.com or on Twitter at @GotoTravelGal.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/17/robots-stripper-poles-and-swamps-10-hotels-with-outrageous-attractions/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/06/robots-stripper-poles-and-swamps-10.html

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